Drop the Bombs Already

September 4, 2013 |
By Sadiq Samani

Show Your Friends:

Ever since I reached adulthood I advocated accepting a foreign policy that doesn’t rely on destruction to sustain our addiction to military warfare. I was against the war in Afghanistan, the war in Iraq, and the continued strikes by unmanned drones in numerous countries throughout the middle east. Much of which is violating their sovereignty, and therefore is an act of war.

This has resulted in tens of trillions of dollars wasted in the last several decades. Our propaganda now shifts to applying the same force to Syria due to “overwhelming evidence” that the American government has gathered. Which is “classified” and “cannot be shown to the public”, as it would impede on our national security and disallow us from sticking our big dicks down another country’s throat.

Obama Mission Accomplish parodyThe voice of some Americans has pushed the POTUS to seek approval from Congress. Luckily for us this Republican led group will check all facts before allowing another fiscally and morally damaging campaign to further spread our empire. They’ll implore the same methods of examining empirical evidence they previously used to determine the existence of WMDS in Iraq. Weapons which we still haven’t located. This, coming from the same people that have researched long and hard and concluded that climate change isn’t a causation of human industrialization, or that primates and humans don’t share a common ancestor, and that women have a chemical in their body that releases a natural birth control when being raped.

I’ve wasted countless breaths in cyclical arguments with friends over the injustice of our claim as being the world’s moral enforcer.

Another Story By Me:  What a no show?!

I apologize. It was my fault. I was stupid stupid STUPID! What made me think that Americans would actually wake up from it’s binge of psychopathic obliteration? I should support preemptively attacking nations that dwarf our military might. Like a Debra Morgan, protecting her brother Dexter, who kills murderers for the safety of others, and not because of his thirst for blood splattered across his cutting table.

We’re not killers, we’re saviors. Angels even.

I expended my energy on educating a mass of illiterates, when I should’ve emulated American tycoons, investing my time and money into purchasing stocks from the murder defense industries that develop the machines which keep us safe from terrorists. So good is the industry that I, nor anyone I know, has ever even met a terrorist. Fight ‘em over there so we don’t have to live with their Allah-hu-akbar turbanhead bearded faces here. While keeping America safe, it’ll also put money in my pocket as stock prices elevate with the cogs of war turning and gaining momentum in favor of Lockheed, Boeing, Raytheon and others.

While I’m at it, I should start investing in healthcare, prison, banking and all other industries that protect every day hard working Americans from socialism by leeching all their wealth like a true capitalistic economy.

I apologize for my lost ways. Let’s kill some motherfuckin’ people! As long as the first fleet of hawks that rain down fireworks in Syria is playing some Thug Luv. Click Click Bang Bang.

 

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