Bullets on a Plane

Two weeks ago I mistakenly took bullet shells (22 and shotgun) and a live bullet that were in my backpack on a plane to Orlando. Those items came back with me to Chicago. Not only did Orlando International Airport miss it, but Chicago’s O’hare Airport also missed it!

Of course I’m probably kidding right? Nope. All true. A few weeks before my Orlando trip I went to Mt. Carroll, IL to experience my first small town of 1500 people. I learned to fish and shoot a gun. I decided to keep the shells from a few bullets I shot, and one live one. I placed them in my backpack and forgot about it. Three weeks later, I travel to Orlando and back and finally discover I had all these items in my bag. Yes, it’s just a bullet, but that doesn’t mean it should go unaccounted. Not only that, but I also had an envelope opener in my bag. Which I’ve had in there for many years and plane rides. I could stab the shit out of someone with that!

Unfortunately this wasn’t the only issue I’ve encountered with airport security. A few months ago I was traveling from O’Hare. Before I went through the security check I went to a trash can to throw away my water bottle. When I looked in I saw that there was a medium sized yellow suitcase pushed in. Thinking that was unusual I told a TSA member. She looked in and then looked up at me like I was retarded and said, “That’s normal.” Seriously. Normal? You’re supposed to report any unattended bags at the airport, but if it’s in a trash can, NORMAL! I guess it’s well known that terrorists don’t leave bombs in suitcases that are stuffed into a trashcan. That would just be unholy.

In St. Petersburg my friend, who is a pilot, and I went to check out a plane he wanted to purchase. The airport let us in, close to planes, without even doing checks. Okay, so they were smaller planes, but those planes can do damage too. It’s not the size that matters; it’s how you use it.

Lastly, friends of mine landed in the US from Canada and were going through customs when they realized that the line was so horrendous. They wanted to try to find a way to skip ahead to the front. So they found a way, but the way was a secret door that led to the outside of the airport and into the US. Bypassing all customs agents.

I’m not saying this to get anyone down. Nor am I saying this to increase spending for airline security. I’m just saying I would like it if I didn’t have to undress myself so that Americans can feel that everything is safe. I don’t want to be the aiport three hours earlier, I want to get there 15 minutes prior to take off and still get on the plane. I want my friends to be able to sit with me at the terminal or even pick me up from there. It’s never all going to be safe. Not on the planes, not at the border, not in your schools. In reality, it’s the policies of our country that makes us unsafe, not the illusion of security.

As Thomas Jefferson once said, “A society that will trade a little liberty for a little order will lose both, and deserve neither”.

Now it hasn’t all been bad. When leaving from Jacksonville Airport they caught me with liquid. It’s okay; we emptied half an ounce of my shampoo to meet the allocated 3ozs of liquid per bottle. They also had me place the bottle into a zip lock bag. Good thing because the shampoo cap came loose while I was holding up the plane with my one bullet and envelope opener. Jihad.