Put On Your Sleeping Mask in Iceland

The first night I was in Reykjavik (you’re probably pronouncing it wrong) I headed to bed around 1am. I am awoken, in a groggy state, by heavy bright light peering from the edges of the thin beige curtains that were covering the windows. The curtains themselves were glowing white as if there was an angel standing on the opposite side blasting it with magic powder. I reach for my phone. It’s 3am! WTF!

If you want to go to a place that has normal daylight hours, you probably shouldn’t be visiting Iceland. During the spring/summer it’s light out most of the day and then in the fall/winter, expect complete darkness. I was there in May, so I had to put on my sleeping mask every night I was there and had to continue doing that as I visited other Scandinavian cities (more on that in future posts. Sign up for the newsletter to be in the loop yo!) because they are very similar to Iceland when it comes to daylight.

We humans are just animals that need routine. Something like abnormal daylight hours really wrecks havoc on our mind and body. While doing some telecommuting work, the day after I arrived, I looked out the window and thought, it’s probably 4p, so I’ll work a bit more before I head to dinner. A few minutes later, my eyes gazed up at the time on my Macbook’s menu bar. It’s 9pm. Shit. Restaurants were already closing down for the night.

The Beautiful People

If you can get over this caveat, which is hard to do while also dealing with jet lag, you will be in a very unique place on earth. Reykjavik is the largest city in Iceland, with a population of 120K, but it’s really the size of a small town, like a Hartford, CT. Their city center is tiny and you see the same people over and over again. Many were tourists, but the locals stood out. Those assholes sure are very pretty. I’m talking like 75% hot people. Damn them! Some of the men were so beautiful, with their long golden hair, soft white skin, and light eyes that my straight cock turned a little gay for them…you know, until I realized that I’m not sexually attracted to men.

I was surprised that I wasn’t a hot commodity there though. I’m assuming they stay pretty by not reproducing with uglies like me, but with such a small populace, many people are related and there’s a higher chance of inbreeding. There’s even an app in Iceland that allows two people to check if they are related based on ancestral data so that they don’t fuck and have retarded children. So I was a bit confused, like, hey guys, I’m brown and totally don’t look like you, so we’re not cousins! HELLO! Notice me please.

It didn’t work. Oh how rough it was trying to even chat with the locals. They were as cold as their weather. It’s probably a cultural thing. They ain’t small talkin’ Americans ya’ll. I knew that Scandinavians were reserved in general, but Icelanders top the charts. It took someone like me, so social that I can get a mute to have a conversation, a lot of questions and finesse just to get one word answers.  They weren’t curious about me as much as I was about them. They didn’t understand certain American humor, yet knew all about our pop culture. One evening I was sitting at the bar at a restaurant with a couple of Americans and several Icelanders and I told a joke about being brown in America and dealing with white supremacy. The Americans thought it was hilarious, but the Icelanders looked at me like, “Can’t compute. We don’t have racism or culture wars here.”

I don’t want this to come off as Icelanders are assholes. They weren’t. They were actually very polite, but it was just very difficult to have a conversation. However, people in the service industry were much more responsive and gave extremely good service, even though they don’t work for tips. Which throws a monkey wrench into the American idea that making people rely on tips to earn a living is the only way to get good service.

Day Trippin’

Most of your time won’t be spent talking to the locals. Iceland is all about excursions. Taking trips to watch puffins and whales, experiencing the northern lights, or seeing their natural phenomenas like volcanoes, glaciers and geysers. Since I only had a couple of days there, the one excursion I had a chance to go to was the Blue Lagoon, Iceland’s most visited attraction, which is a geothermal spa in the middle of a lava field. MUST SEE! I’ve travelled quite a bit, but have never experienced something like that. It was a bit family and couple oriented which made me feel a little lonely because I was there by myself. Luckily we were all in water so no one noticed the tears of sadness running down my face. It was expensive, but well worth it. Plus, on the ride there you’ll get to see the rural part of Iceland and as well as it’s unique terrain.

Technology

Being a nerd, the thing I loved about Iceland was how they embraced technology and design. Just the fact that I was able to pay contactlessly with my Apple Watch (read my feedback about the watch), in a country with a population of 325K, was mind boggling. I only had to whip out my credit card once, and that was because that business’s contactless payment was out of order. The Blue Lagoon was also teched out. They give you a wrist band that allows you access throughout the building as well as lets you pay for any food or drinks you purchase inside, all contactlessly.

Should You Go?

Yes, but when you’re connecting to another part of Europe. Iceland is magical, but I wouldn’t fly to Iceland only (unless if you already live in Europe). I also don’t know if it’s worth going for more than 5 days max. You’ll eventually get bored. A friend celebrated their honeymoon in Iceland for 10 days, and they stated that it was way too long. I went to Reykjavik as part of a Scandinavian trip, as well as a visit to London and Malta. Something to consider is if you’re taking Iceland Air to another European country, they will allow you to stop over in Reykjavik for no extra charge.

Have you been to Iceland? Are you planning on visiting? Or do you not know where the hell it is? ???? Feel free to share your thoughts.